Disclaimer: This story is not about my team nor the organisation I am with.
In the last couple of days, I have been helping a dear friend navigate through workplace bullying from a manager.
The definition of bullying is quite clear and classic, but its actual occurrence can be complicated and subtle, especially if the bully is the manager and holds the position of power and has a relatively high IQ. For the person being bullied, it can be mentioned as an under performant also being labeled as playing the victim. However, to an outside observer, this is clearly a Bullying in the Workplace case.
This Bullying in the workplace mostly happens in the hierarchy of direct reports if the manager has no empathy, lacks the leadership skills and is self centred.
The early signs of bullying by managers in the workplace include:
- Using sarcasm or swearing when referring to someone’s work
- Humiliating someone about the outcome of a task
- Assigning too much or too little work
- Excluding some workers from work-related events
- Threatening disciplinary action
You might wonder how this happens and how to recognise the symptoms. It’s quite classic. The bully will ruin your confidence since they hold the power. They do this bit by bit through various tactics. It often starts subtly, with sarcasm about your work, which may seem harmless at first but gradually erodes your self-esteem.
Next, the bully might try to speak for you in every setting, effectively silencing your voice and undermining your authority. This isolation extends further as they prevent you from publicly discussing topics you know well, making you feel increasingly marginalized.
Over time, these actions lead up to in more damaging feedback, such as, “Your output makes me look bad.” By this point, the bully has systematically dismantled your confidence, making you doubt your abilities and worth in the workplace.
Recognising these symptoms early can be crucial in addressing and mitigating the damaging effects of workplace bullying.
As my friend was telling the story, I noticed the classic effects. The person becomes speechless from criticism, stays silent, avoids turning on their camera in online meetings, and is always on edge, waiting for the next attack or sarcasm. They were started thinking, “If I’m not working well and always underperforming, why does this organisation keeps paying my wages? If I’m not doing my job right, what happens if I leave? Do I have the skills to be hired again?” These were self-harming, confidence-crushing questions they were ruminating over and over.
To summarise and to those reading this, it’s crucial not to stay silent. A bully in an organization won’t stop even when the affected team member leaves; they will find another prey, and that next person might be you. There is a saying in public safety: “See something, say something.”
For more reads please have a look at this public safety page in NSW government: https://www.safework.nsw.gov.au/hazards-a-z/bullying/workplace-bullying
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